No right answer

Went for Ray’s parent teacher conference at 10. Got there, found out I had scheduled it for 9:30. Renee was furious. I decided on the way home that one fuckup today was enough, and that I’d run the tix for tonight down to Dad. Why? ’cause I fucked up, and don’t need to go to a hockey game if I can’t get my kid’s scheduling right. So I whine a little bit about that, and she gets pissed off because now she feels guilty, because I’m not going to the game, because I’m a little pissy about giving it up, but she really didn’t want me to go to the game anyway, but didn’t say anything because I’d make her feel guilty, even though she feels that I go to way to many hockey games lately, and would rather I stay home – but won’t say anything because she says I’ll make her feel guilty about it, which I’m not doing on purpose, because if I was, I’d be so much better at it, right?

In other words, if I give up the game, she’s mad at me because she thinks I blame it on her. if I go to the game, she feels like I’m not home enough. On top of the “I fucked up because I thought it was at 10 and it was at 9:30” shit, which she feels bad about because she thinks she looks like a bad parent because we were no shows, when its really all my fault.

So no matter what I do, I’m fucked, she’s unhappy, and no matter what I say or do, it’s wrong. Opening my mouth right now is wrong. not talking to her is wrong.

ARGH. When i try to do what right, I get in trouble. When I do what I think is right, I get in trouble. When I do what’s wrong, I get in trouble. When I do what she wants, because she wants me to, I get in trouble. When I do what I want to, I get in trouble. If I gave everything up and became a 9-5 wage slave and did nothing but work and come home, she’d say I’m making her feel guilty about it, and I’d be in trouble.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS MAKE HER HAPPY, AND SHE’S NOT CO-OPERATING! Mostly because if I’m miserable, I’ll share a little. So she’s allowed to share her misery, but I’m not allowed to make her feel guilty or unhappy.

I’m in a no win situation. dammit, I hate it when this happens.

About Kevin Sonney

Kevin Sonney - who, contrary to popular opinion was NOT raised by wolves - grew up in central North Carolina. He fell into the technology field by accident in 1991, when he gave up the wild and crazy lifestyle of an on-air AM radio DJ to become a mundane technical support monkey. The technology industry has never really recovered from this. Kevin has worked for such names as IBM, Red Hat, webslingerZ, and Lulu Technologies (we won't mention the ones that didn't survive the experience). He currently works as a Linux Administrator for Apptio. In his spare time he rescues stray animals and plays video games with his two sons. His wife, we're sad to say, helps him get past the really hard bits. Kevin is still not very mundane, he just got better at hiding it.
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12 Responses to No right answer

  1. moonfl0wer says:

    agh. relationships are hard. :)

    it’s amazing how the little things can make us the most angry–but also the most happy…i say you both take some time to chill out, then do something little and sweet and sappy for her tonight…

    in any case, good luck. :)

  2. detritus says:

    Welcome to my world.

  3. ex_redsonja442 says:

    Nothing I ever do is right that’s for sure. If I do the housework he feels “bad.” But since nothing in the world can get him to do it, if I don’t do it, then it doesn’t get done, and I refuse to live in filth.

    If I speak up about something that bothers me then I’m a bitch. But if I say nothing then I’m “trying to guilt trip him” or “why didn’t you tell me?” Uh…because when I tell you, you throw a tantrum?

    If I remind him to do something that he promised to do then I’m nagging. But if I say nothing he “forgets.” Then why didn’t I remind him? Uh…because if I do, I’m “nagging”, and he throws a tantrum?

    Becoming a lesbian is looking more attractive all the time!!!

  4. alchemist says:

    Oh, puh-leese. You probabyl don’t want to put up with a woman’s bullshit either. *grin*

  5. ex_redsonja442 says:

    Never know till ya try! ;)

    Is the bullshit at least different in nature? Or not?

  6. alchemist says:

    I wrote up this long thing, and decided it was too cliche for words. Dealing with a woman is a different thing. But hell, what’s the worst that can happen? You hate it, you’re miserable. No change.

    But if it works…well, at least she’ll know how to perform oral sex on a woman properly *grin*

  7. ex_redsonja442 says:

    And if she doesn’t, there’s no excuse!

    Oh, and no pregnancy scares.

    I’m not dumb enough to expect all women to be like me, though. I’m wierd and atypical in so many ways. For example, I lack the “subtlety” gene and the “read body language” gene. I guess, when it comes to most forms of diplomacy, I lack the knack. :(

  8. alchemist says:

    Oh, well then you get to be the man. *grin*

  9. ex_redsonja442 says:

    But…I’m so girly!

    That’s right, you’ve never seen me.

    I’m girly *looking* at the very least.

    And I RAWK in the kitchen.

  10. alchemist says:

    I meant emotionally, girl. But you never know – maybe you’ll look good butch.*grin*

    Oooh, I’m an offensive bastard this morning. I just deleted about two sentances because if I posted them, GLAD would be coming to hoist me upon my own petard. Kevin Smith has nothing on me. Nothing. *grin*

    Mostly, though, I’m just giving you crap…..*smirk*

  11. ex_redsonja442 says:

    Relax, I’m not gonna turn you in to the PC police.

    I look much better girly, trust me. When I was on the swim team in high school I cut my hair all off to a boy cut because the chlorine just shredded it and it had the texture of a broom. Even with lots of makeup, it wasn’t great; without the makeup it was….ewwwww. Some asshole at a bookstore mistook me for a guy from behind (jeans and jean jacket concealed female body shape) and when I turned around I took his damn head off. I was like, “My name is not “sir.” Get your eyes checked…and what do you think these are? I’M A WOMAN, IDIOT!” (pointing at boobs)

    If I ever have a lesbian relationship, I’ll *still* be girly. I know it’s rare, but it can be done! There’s the cutest lez goth chick in Charlotte, very feminine, but of course she’s taken. Rar.

    All the ones in Raleigh are…uh…not my style. Put it that way.

    Here’s what I don’t get. If you’re (the generic “you”, here) looking for a woman, then why don’t you want a woman who looks and acts like one? If you don’t want a man then why get a woman who looks and acts like a man. That way you have the *worst* of both worlds. Looks like a guy, but has no dick. What’s the point?

    I have a GF who is so totally my type…and so very straight. Bleh.

    Man, am I going to get myself in a shitload of trouble writing this? Cause I’m in a committed relationship with a man at this point. 9_9

  12. ex_redsonja442 says:

    Relax, I’m not gonna turn you in to the PC police. I’m not that easily offended!

    I look much better girly, trust me. When I was on the swim team in high school I cut my hair all off to a boy cut because the chlorine just shredded it and it had the texture of a broom. Even with lots of makeup, it wasn’t great; without the makeup it was….ewwwww. Some asshole at a bookstore mistook me for a guy from behind (baggy leg jeans and jean jacket concealed female body shape) and when I turned around I took his damn head off. I was like, “My name is not “sir.” Get your eyes checked…and what do you think these are? I’M A WOMAN, IDIOT!” (pointing at boobs)

    If I ever have a lesbian relationship, I’ll *still* be girly. I know it’s rare, but it can be done! There’s the cutest lez goth chick in Charlotte, very feminine, but of course she’s taken. Rar.

    All the ones in Raleigh are…uh…not my style. Put it that way.

    Here’s what I don’t get. If you’re (the generic “you”, here) looking for a woman, then why don’t you want a woman who looks and acts like one? If you don’t want a man then why get a woman who looks and acts like a man. That way you have the *worst* of both worlds. Looks like a guy, but has no dick. What’s the point?

    I have a GF who is so totally my type…and so very straight. Bleh.

    Man, am I going to get myself in a shitload of trouble writing this? Cause I’m in a committed relationship with a man at this point. 9_9

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