I wonder if my expectations are set too high. I mean, perhaps my mood would improve if I just expected the worst, and then I could be pleasantly surprised when I’m wrong.
Got home from work last night at about 7:30 and Jacob was already asleep. The stove was still on slightly, and the frozen beans were on the counter. Ate my dinner, had popcorn with Ray and Renee. She and Jacob went to bed around 8:30, Ray went at 9, and I went at 9:45 or so, after doing the dishes, some laundry, and feeding the cat. heck, I checked my email, rad LJ, and was *BORED*. Didn’t even feel like watching TV.
I took out some of my disappointment out on Renee when she went to bed – I was *HOPING* I’d get to spend more than 15 mins with Jacob yesterday (that would be how long I got before I left for work in the morning), and maybe spend some time with Renee when she wasn’t snoring. That totally wasn’t fair, but it was obvious from the moment I got home and had to finish cleaning up after their dinner that last night was gonna suck. And it’s mostly my own fault, because I walked in the door thinking what a great day I had had, and how nice it’ll be to have a good evening.
Tonight I expect there to be no attempt at post-dinner cleanup. I expect her to be playing her game. I expect Jacob will be a fusspot, and Ray will want to monopolize my time. I should expect that, because 4 out of 5 nights that’s what happens.
Yeah, I’m hitting a long winter funk. Strangely, it’s better when I’m not at home. And when I am here, little things just irritate the fuck out of me. I can’t wait to go to work. And then I can’t wait to get home.