Surprisingly tired today, whjich is kinda odd since I actually went to bed before midnight. Probably has something to do with the weather and the dog getting me up at 5:30. C’est la vie.
It was nice to be able to spread out in bed a little last night. And a lot easier to fall asleep than I thought – then again, by 10:30 I was the only one awake in the house.
Today is the usual roller coaster of emotion thing. Fun for all. Started out OK, slid to depressed, sunk to lonely, and I’m working my way up from there.
Made the mistake of listening to my brother-in-law’s advice last night, which was “clean the house, get rid of the pets, fast, pray, and God will bring her back to you.” Gee, so I should devote myself to doing all the things she wants me to with no expectation of reciprocity, and then pray that she’ll decide I’m OK after all? Bullshit.
I hate to say it, but I hope they’re telling her to stop gaming, get councelling, stop fooling around, and get her head on right. Because that’s what it’ll take for me to take her back now. She’s made it clear that she has no intention of changing, and that it’s all on me.
It’s not like I’m not going to clean the house after she’s gone. I mean, WTF? Do they think I go around the house messing things up and leaving it for her to clean up? Or maybe it’s my fault that she can’t drag herself away from the computer long enough to pick up after herself – let alone the kids.
Yeah, I got news. I tried that. I picked up after her and the kids for a long time. Made sure after dinner was “clean up time.” Did the laundry. Took care of the animals. You know what I got? The back of her head playing Rag Online (then later WoW), which is what I got before and what I got after I gave up because I couldn’t keep up.
Change is a two way street. I’m going to change. And if she does, great. And if she doesn’t, fine. Long as it doesn’t hurt the kids.
OK, I just worked my way back up to angry and frustrated….