Recovery Begins?

Finally getting some motivation to get caught up. Burned some DVDs for gracepoint, watched a movie with the kids, and got stuff ready for tomorrow.

This is the next-to-last Friday with help. Two weeks until it’s just us boys for the weekend.

I hope this constant lethargy has passed by then. I know I’m fighting off depression. At least now I can recognize the signs, even if it’s still difficult to break through.

This time I won’t let it take over.

About Kevin Sonney

Kevin Sonney - who, contrary to popular opinion was NOT raised by wolves - grew up in central North Carolina. He fell into the technology field by accident in 1991, when he gave up the wild and crazy lifestyle of an on-air AM radio DJ to become a mundane technical support monkey. The technology industry has never really recovered from this. Kevin has worked for such names as IBM, Red Hat, webslingerZ, and Lulu Technologies (we won't mention the ones that didn't survive the experience). He currently works as a Linux Administrator for Apptio. In his spare time he rescues stray animals and plays video games with his two sons. His wife, we're sad to say, helps him get past the really hard bits. Kevin is still not very mundane, he just got better at hiding it.
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3 Responses to Recovery Begins?

  1. malcolm_mv says:

    I have never been through anything like that. Man, my thoughts and sympathies are with you, and if you you need anything give a shout.

  2. psychomagnet says:

    I have faith you’ll come out of this fine, but it will take some time to wade through all the emotions. Maybe you shouldn’t be fighting off the depression — maybe you should just revel in it for a couple days and then tell it “okay, that’s enough, go to hell”. Like a good cry, it might not be such a bad thing to let yourself feel a powerful [email protected]$&*!F*CK#*@)!, but give it a firm time limit.

    I, for one, would be worried about you if you weren’t upset.

    But I’m waiting for you to figure out that you’ve been struggling to be happy DESPITE her, not with her. Then you’ll realize what’s coming is going to be much better, and easier. Believe it.

  3. alchemist says:

    No, it hit me today. I’ve been growing and finding my calling…and she’s been hiding. I know what I want to do when I grow up…and she’s been hiding.

    Yes, it’z gonna suck for a while, but you’re right. I’ve been struggling to be happy despite her for while – we share no common interests anymore except the kids – and that’s not enough to rebuild a marriage off of. The anger/grudge/whatever she’s been harboring for all these years has made us both miserable.

    So yes, it’ll be bad, but then it’s going to be better. Lots better. but getting there is the battle now.

    And no, I can’t just let it go for a few days. Unfortunately the depression I’m dealing with is that lovely kind where I’m unable to function if I let it take over. So I’m dealing with it in waves as it hits. It does pass, but I cannot let it take over, since it’s not something I can “shake off” right now. I wish it were.

    (And so yes, I know a little bit how Dylan feels, too)

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