Skating away on the thin ice of a new day

Posted on May 6, 2012 by Kevin Sonney

In 2005, after a particularly bad patch, I lost my shit. I had just been laid off from my high-pressure job, my marriage was falling apart[1], and I found myself weeping in a parking lot waiting for my oldest’s bus to arrive.

Not pretty, right? Clinical depression brought on by stress and burnout. It took me another year to figure out that I had burned out, and probably two to get close to fully recovered. It was not easy, nor was it pretty at times. Meds helped, and so did the divorce, and some counseling, and the support of friends.

So when I took stock this last month, and saw what I now know are the early warning signs of burnout and depression, I did, as they say, the needful. Talked to Ursula to see what she thinks. Talked to my doctor about getting back on the meds[2]. Talked to my new manager[3] on how we can start to mitigate things and keep me from going back over the deep end.

So we’ll see how it goes. At least this time I know the signs, I know what I need to do, and I know how to get better[4]. And if things go a little pear-shaped, I also have a supportive environment to keep me from losing it completely.

This time.

[1] It would be two years for us to figure out it was not something that could be salvaged
[2] Hello Zoloft! It helped a LOT last time, and I’m not scared of it now.
[3] I’ve been without one for about 6 months, and man, is it nice to have one again.
[4] I hope.

About Kevin Sonney

Kevin Sonney - who, contrary to popular opinion was NOT raised by wolves - grew up in central North Carolina. He fell into the technology field by accident in 1991, when he gave up the wild and crazy lifestyle of an on-air AM radio DJ to become a mundane technical support monkey. The technology industry has never really recovered from this. Kevin has worked for such names as IBM, Red Hat, webslingerZ, and Lulu Technologies (we won't mention the ones that didn't survive the experience). He currently works as a Linux Administrator for Apptio. In his spare time he rescues stray animals and plays video games with his two sons. His wife, we're sad to say, helps him get past the really hard bits. Kevin is still not very mundane, he just got better at hiding it.
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2 Responses to Skating away on the thin ice of a new day

  1. Peg says:
    May 6, 2012 at 11:35 am

    I too went through a work related bad period that went straight into a fairly good sized depression .I also benefited from meds and therapy ,but there was one more bright thing in a pretty dark time:Being able to listen to you and Ursula .Please know that you were both a bright light in a dark time and I hope that knowing that will provide you with a little light of your own as you make your way .All good things to you both,Peg

  2. Susan A says:
    May 6, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    Ah maybe it’s genetics. I had to laugh when I read your opening lines because I too have found myself in a parking lot crying when the shit fairy decided to stick around for a while a few years ago. If there is any upside from going through a depression it’s being able to recognize the signs faster the next time around. Good your taking care of things before you go down the rabbit hole again.

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